Founder of Totum Women Erin Erenberg: On Balancing it all as a Working Mother

February 19, 2023

Erin Erenberg might be the mom that “does it all,” but she’s learned how to value presence in a way we all could take a lesson from. The attorney, entrepreneur, mom of three and founder of Totum Women shares how she strives to live a life that is consistent with the things she truly values. Erin ensures that even the busiest work day includes quality time with her loved ones, and her reminder that filling the cups of others starts with filling your own cup is a powerful one.

Erin, tell us a little about you:

After working as a lawyer and business builder at the intersection of entertainment, tech, and cause, I shifted my work squarely into the lane of supporting mothers in 2017. I'd just had our third baby, and I was finally ready to go out on my own to do my part making American mothers' experience a more supported one. I now maintain a legal practice supporting mothers in business, run Totum Women, and serve as the executive director of the Chamber of Mothers.

What does self care look like to you?

Self care looks like taking the time to get clear on my core values and set up a life that is aligned with them. Justice, connection, discovery, compassion, and presence are super important to me, so I make time to engage in behaviors, activities and moments that reflect and give those values space. For example, I block off two mornings per week to work out and walk the beach with a friend, regardless of what's happening with work, and I don't look at my phone when we're together. I also have a hard stop to my work day to pick up our kids from school, because I care a lot about being present for them after their time away from home. Self care is inner work first. And it shows up as activities only after we're first clear about who we are and what we want to prioritize.

How does Matrescence’s Mission to “mother the mother” resonate with you as a mom? In your career?

I launched Totum (which means "whole" in Latin) in 2017 to help modern mothers live whole, supported lives. It was my experience that I was pretty much forgotten once I birthed a healthy baby. My body, mind, ambition, and relationships had shifted in a moment, but there wasn't much conversation or support for that discombobulating experience. I've since learned it's the experience of most moms in America. I believe that when we support a new mother first, she thrives, her family thrives, and the community around her will thrive. Without that support, mothers often struggle in silence, believing that they've done something wrong. But it’s actually the lack of support around a new mother that's to blame. We are not meant to mother in isolation, but sadly, many mothers do.

What’s one thing you wish you’d known before becoming a mom?

That it was natural, “ok,” and even good to ask for or hire help, regardless of whether I was doing paid work outside the home.

What has been the hardest part of your mama journey? The most rewarding?

Someone once said "you can't multitask presence." That resonates for me. Having three kids I care about, work I love, and a partner, friends and family -- I often feel like I wish I could clone myself to give everything enough presence.