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After losing her own mother at a young age, the stay at home mom turned marketing agency owner wasn't sureΒ how to prioritize her needsΒ in her early days as a mom. But when Edil Cuepo's daughterΒ wasΒ diagnosed withΒ a life-threatening brain tumor,Β Edil was forced to lean on the community around her for help and support to get through a difficult time. She shares how βit takes a villageβ is so much more than just a saying, and challenges us to not always stay on the "giving" side of help,Β reminding us of just how much we moms truly need each other.Β
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Edil, tell us about you:Β
My name is Edil! Iβm Filipino, born and raised in Manila, Philippines. Iβm a mom to two biracial kids and weβre currently living in Rockaway Beach in New York City.
After being a stay at home mom for almost six years, I recently launched my own marketing agency and now have transitioned to 15-hour work weeks. I love traveling and going on adventures with my kids β whether thatβs hopping on the ferry for a day and exploring the city, or flying twenty hours to Southeast Asia.
What does self care look like to you?
Self-care to me is slowing down, taking hot showers, watching mindless reality TV, and reading a good book.
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Do you have any daily/weekly rituals that you stick to?
I just try and listen to what my body needs at any given point in time. When Iβm feeling stressed, I try not to rush myself. Sometimes we feel the world is going to end if we donβt do βxβ or βy.β But really, it doesnβt.
Β How does Matrescenceβs Mission to βmother the motherβ resonate with you as a mom? In your career?
As someone who lost her own mom at just 13, my journey to mothering the mother has been a tricky one. I have little memory of being mothered by my own mom. When I had my first baby, all I did was give and give and give. I didnβt know how to ask for help or receive help until January 2022.
My five year old got very sick, and they found a baseball-sized tumor in her head that was pressing on her cerebellum. We had to have emergency brain surgery within 24 hours. It was the most terrifying time in my life.Β
I had an 11-month old who had never been away from me for more than five hours, and I just couldnβt be in two places at once. But all of our friends and family came together to help us. Not being used to asking for help, I was forced to receive it. That was my first real experience of mothering the mother: receiving help. And I havenβt stopped ever since. Every mom needs to take βit takes a villageβ seriously. Itβs the ONLY way.
Β Whatβs one thing you wish youβd known before becoming a mom?
I wish I knew how much it would make me want my mom with me. I didnβt know what I was in for: having to deal with both postpartum life and grief at the same time.
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What has been the hardest part of your mama journey? The most rewarding?
Now that I know first hand how great a motherβs love is, the hardest part has been realizing how much of that love and support I didnβt have for most of my life.
The most rewarding part is seeing my babies become their own selves and knowing that no matter what, theyβll always be a part of me.