Elexus Baltazar: On Family, Faith, and Vulnerability as a Mom

March 17, 2024

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good one.” Mom of three Elexus Baltazar knows that family takes precedence over all else. She shares her story in a raw and vulnerable way as she talks about becoming a new mama, losing a child, and the uncertainty of her current pregnancy, and above all how she turns to her faith to guide her journey.

Elexus, tell us about you:

Family is very important to me- it’s life’s greatest blessing. It’s your village that smiles, laughs, plays, and loves together. They are the ones you can always count on and are present not only in the good times. The most precious gift in life is family.

I am the oldest of 5 girls and grew up in San Diego, California. Before becoming a SAHM I was an elementary school teacher for 9 years, while teaching music on the side. I also worked as an office administrator for about a year. I married my best friend Kenneth, and we started our family together. Growing up there were many ups and downs, but I am thankful for each of those moments as it has made me the person I am today. I love being a mom - I’ve learned so much and have changed ever since I’ve entered motherhood. I am a mom to three kids - Liam Donato (almost 2), our angel baby, and currently pregnant with our rainbow baby, Everett Noah. They are my everything and I cherish the moments with them.

What did becoming a mom look like for you?

Becoming a mom has changed me in ways I can’t even imagine and made me a new person. It is not easy to be a mom, but it is very rewarding and shows you a love you have never experienced. There is no way to be a perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good one. Motherhood can be exhausting, difficult and life changing - but it is worth it. It’s inspiring, has a purpose, transforming, amazing, all about unconditional love, patience, sacrifice, and selflessness. Each and every day is different and I’ve learned to enjoy this journey with my little bestie.

Was the most unexpected part of your own motherhood journey?

The most unexpected part of my motherhood journey was facing experiences I never thought I would go through. After having my first, I went through postpartum depression and anxiety. I thought I was perfectly fine and so happy with the life of having a baby, but one day I realized what I was facing. Over time and with the support of my loved ones I was able to get through the stages of depression and anxiety. What helped me overcome those thoughts, feelings and emotions was having a bond with my baby. Another unexpected part was mom guilt - there would be times where I was touched out and needed time to be alone, either taking the time to enjoy my meal or a long relaxing shower/bath. Along with mom guilt I started to feel guilty of robbing time with my son since we are expecting again. The time I have with my son is so precious to me and I enjoy every moment with him, but once our rainbow baby arrives - it makes me feel guilty that he may feel left out. I have found ways to incorporate our toddler once baby is born and I’m excited for him to meet his little brother.

During this current pregnancy my husband and I had to face some news no parents would want to hear. We already have lost one baby prior to this pregnancy, but by the grace of God - He has blessed us with our rainbow baby. We will forever cherish and love our angel baby and pray every day that our rainbow baby (Everett) will grow and make it to full term. At our anatomy scan we expected to see our healthy baby boy, but instead found out he has liquid in his ventricles. We had another appointment and MRI scans, and were then told Everett has mild ventriculomegaly at 13mm. We’re praying his right ventricle won’t reach more than 15 mm because it will be considered severe.

They also found some evidence of a bleed (hemorrhage) so that’s why we are having more thorough tests and appointments. This pregnancy and part of motherhood are ones you think you would never experience, but we have. Unexpected things occur in life and sometimes we may feel overwhelmed, but we can try to stay positive and put our trust in God. I know God has a plan and purpose for everything and Everett is loved by so many and has our hearts just as much as Liam does.

How does Matrescence’s Mission to “mother the mother” resonate with you as a mom?

Matrescence’s Mission to “mother the mother” means so much to me. Being a mother you always care and put others first. Learning that your mission is rooted in “mothering the mother” and offering nurturing self-care rituals that moms can integrate in their busy lives reminded me the importance of taking care of the mother. During my motherhood journey I have learned that you as a mom need to care for yourself as well so that you have the energy to navigate your role as a mom to care for others and give your 100%. The importance of self care should be emphasized whether it be taking just 30 minutes or more time of your day to be alone. A happy mom is the best mom. I enjoy being part of a community that focuses on other moms and emphasizes the need and importance of a mother’s health, especially after giving birth.

In what ways do you find self-care in your day? Do you struggle with prioritizing it in your life?

Planning and scheduling my days and weeks helps me find ways to where I can focus on my self care. This can mean various things. Of course taking the time to enjoy my meal or taking a shower in peace is self care, but also enjoying my favorite hobbies helps me with caring for myself. Being a mom I struggle to prioritize it in my life because I tend to focus on the role of taking care of my children and the role of being a wife and doing the household chores. I’m thankful for my husband because he helps me lighten the load of all those roles and we try to communicate and balance the load together.

What is the best thing you learned about parenting and who did you learn it from?

The best advice I got from my mom and mama friend was that out of all the women in the world, God picked me to be my children’s mother. As a first time mom I was learning and growing and was very hard on myself. I wanted to be the perfect mommy to Liam and give him the very best. Giving your love and time to your little ones is all that matters to them. Every mom and child is different and we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to other moms. You’re the best mom you can be to your child(ren) and just as they mean the whole world to you, you are also the whole world in their eyes.

What struggles have you encountered finding balance and how do you navigate them?

I needed to balance time for myself, but also for my husband. Just as much as your children are important, your marriage is too. My husband and I were adjusting to our new lives differently since he did not have a little one consistently needing his attention in the same way I did. As all moms feel - you do miss your “old life” and “freedom”. My husband helped and communicated with me to find ways that worked for us and to take the time to make time for each other. Taking on the load of childcare and household chores was also a way of finding balance. We navigate the balance of life by communicating; it is so key in a relationship. Some days are harder than others, but we make it work as a family together.

Anything else you want us to know?

I’ve recently started my journey as a mama UGC creator + LTK creator and am truly honored and appreciate the various brands we get to work with. Being a SAHM I also wanted to find a way to make an income and help my husband. My husband is my best friend and #1 supporter and never pressured me to go back to work because he said taking care of our children and the home is more than enough. I love creating content and sharing to others my journey as I navigate motherhood each and every day.