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My journey to motherhood has been one of deep love, angst, loss, joy, heartache and celebration. I had prayed for a large family since I was a little girl, and in the eleven years I have been married to my wonderful husband, we have loved seven children with our whole hearts.
I was overjoyed when I saw those two famous pink lines and got the best birthday present of my life in 2011. Sadly, our joy turned to grief when we lost our sweet Hayden to miscarriage. While my introduction to motherhood was a devastating one, we got pregnant again and found out that I had dire clotting issues that would require twice-a-day shots in the stomach to keep the baby alive. We were able to have three miraculous biological children over the next two and a half years and I quickly learned to never take a single moment of motherhood for granted. After my third son was born, my PCOS worsened and we have struggled with secondary infertility over the last seven years.
While I was initially consumed with my empty womb, God began shifting my focus from the barrenness in my body and began opening my eyes to those children who were barren of hope. Our hearts were suddenly open to becoming foster parents, and a couple months later we began fostering a precious little preemie straight out of the NICU. I fell in love immediately and were on the road to adoption when his wonderful older brother and wife stepped forward. After eight months of mothering him, the judge granted them custody and I packed all of his little belongings and said the hardest goodbye of my life.
Our foster son was adopted by his family and they made his new middle name our last name. I cannot even put into words how honored we felt. Six weeks after saying goodbye, we got a call from DCS asking, “Do you have space for twin newborn girls?” I must have been screaming because my husband ran from across the house, and only three hours later we brought home the five pound bundles that changed our lives forever. Six months later their adoption was complete, and I have been so honored to be their mother.
Whether you’re in the midst of infertility, the mayhem of parenting, loss, or the roller coaster of foster and adoption, I hope this Mother’s Day you feel appreciated and at peace as you walk the journey set before you.
You can follow Dañi's journey on her Instagram @fostering_love_in_my_five.