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Brandi-Sellers Jackson On Matrescence and Life as a Doula
Meet Brandi-Sellers Jackson, a Los Angeles-based birth and postpartum doula, Founder of #notsoprivateparts, co-founder of Moms in Color, Social Media Manager at Ergobaby and mama of 3 boys.
On her matrescence.
My journey through matrescence has been different for each child. When I had Jax, my oldest who is now 13, I was 24 years old and finding out who I was as a woman and still figuring out my life and what everything was (you know, early twenties). I didn't give myself a lot of space to just be. I felt this need to get up and heal, and get back to whatever I was getting back to. I didn't know the beauty of sitting and the beauty of being still - so that was the first thing. With Jedi, I was a little bit older (33) and I kind of knew to take rest, and that everything will be exactly where it was when I get back - and if it's not it's ok. And so it was different from the prior postpartum experience. By the time Jupiter came along, I was 36 and a lot more settled and grounded. I knew to take space and to take my time, and that this is a special moment. When else do you get that moment again? Matrescence for me has looked different for each birth and each postpartum experience, but you don't know what you don't know. For me, the last time around I knew to hold and take space, to take my time and use peace as the north star for everything.
On becoming a doula.
I became a doula a little bit after my second son, Jedi was born. My road to becoming a doula came many, many, many years ago. I have always been a nurturer and always been one that has known how to take care. I wanted to be what I needed during my birth and postpartum. My role as a doula is to make sure my birthing person is supported...that they are seen, that they are heard, and that they have informed consent and can make decisions from an informed place. And advocated for!
What's the best thing about being a doula? What's the hardest part?
The best thing about being a doula is that I get to support amazing families and people at probably one of the most amazing parts of their lives. That's pretty cool. And seeing a baby take their first breath - it's a feeling that is just like nothing else. Seeing the amount of hard work that birthing people put in and then the pain, and then the intensity and to see the culmination of gratitude is otherwordly. The hardest part is navigating it through tougher times, times that are uncertain...like now during COVID-19. Right now is really a weird time for a lot of us doulas - a lot of us are having to figure out how to support parents in a different way. We are usually so very hands on and so very connected. That is the hard part - the shift and the ebb and flow of what IS, but it speaks more to the truth of our job, which is preparation and holding space and advocating. That is the tough part of the job but it's also the most rewarding.
What to consider when hiring a doula.
1. Connection: Make sure you connect with this person
2. Safety: make sure you feel safe with this person - because that is really our job as doulas.
On coping with the added stress of COVID-19.
Tap into what it is that you need. What is it that I need right now? What is it that I don't need? Do I need to log off social media? DO I need to connect w/ someone via Facetime?
On her favorite Matrescence product.
I love the Rose Glow Trio ! It enhances the glow!