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Whether it’s your first year as a mom or you are a veteran mama, Valentine’s Day can be a great reminder of the importance of connecting with our partners. Motherhood is undoubtedly a transformative journey filled with love, joy, and countless cherished moments, but in the midst of diaper changes and bedtime stories, it's easy for the flame of romance to flicker.
As a fellow mama of young kids, I know these days can be all consuming and relationships can fall to the backburner. My partner and I like to remind each other that one day our kids will move on and start their own families, but our partnership will still be here, and is worth investing in. Here are 5 tips you can implement to rekindle the connection with your partner after kids and infuse your relationship with the love and passion it deserves:
Schedule Planned Time for Each Other:
Scheduled date nights without the kids can be huge for reconnecting! They don’t have to be elaborate, either: a simple dinner, a movie night, revisiting a shared hobby you had before kids, or even a walk in the park pushing the stroller if you don’t have childcare. Scheduling ahead of time ensures your prioritize your relationship.
Even if date nights aren’t an option at this point in your journey, you can engage in planned communication breaks at home. Write out times on your family calendar when you’ll take a short break - throughout the day, a few nights a week, or whatever works for your schedule, to check in on how you are both feeling, share thoughts and experiences. This helps maintain a strong emotional connection amid the busy days of parenting.
Create an Expectation of Teamwork When it Comes to Parenting Duties:
Shared responsibilities in childcare can do wonders to reduce resentment. Create clear expectations for what each parent will help with. A united front in parenting fosters a sense of partnership, allowing both parents to enjoy the journey together.
Focus on Small Surprise Gestures:
Small surprises like leaving a heartfelt note or bringing home a small gift can rekindle the excitement and spontaneity in your relationship. We have a jar in our house where we leave little notes sharing what we like or appreciate about each other, and each time we fill it up, we open them and read them to each other. It reminds us to focus on gratitude and look for what we love. Acknowledging the small things strengthens your connection and reinforces a positive atmosphere at home.
Foster Open Communication About Your Feelings:
I can’t stress this one enough! I know it’s easier said than done, but discussing your feelings and concerns openly is key to any healthy relationship. Parenthood brings new challenges, and understanding each other's emotions is crucial for a supportive relationship.
I know, I know, it’s not “sexy” but carving out time for the two of you and making it a priority is a huge help in the chaos of new parenthood. It also gives you something to look forward to throughout the day! Making time for physical intimacy and affection is a vital aspect of maintaining closeness and emotional connection.
As the world celebrates love this week, remember that your love story is an integral part of your family narrative. Reconnecting with your partner after kids not only strengthens your bond but also sets a powerful example for your children – a testament to the enduring power of love. Whether it's stealing a quiet moment for a heartfelt conversation, surprising each other with small gestures, or simply basking in the shared joy of parenthood, make the conscious effort to keep the flame burning.